Tell us your Jokes

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Tell us your Jokes

Post  baitboss on Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:19 pm

Man sees an advert in a pet shiop window 'talking centipede £5000' so he goes in and buys it and takes it home. He gets in and asks the centipede if he fancies going down the pub but gets no reply. Thinking he didnt hear him he repeats the question but much louder, but still no answer. Thinking he has been stitched up by the pet shop he shouts ' Are you coming down the pub or what you bastard' to which the centipede replied 'I heard you the 1st time wanker, I'm putting my shoes on Very Happy
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Re: Tell us your Jokes

Post  Screamingbuzzer on Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:51 pm

A woman said to her husband " Linda from the gym said I've the tits of a 20 year old !" the husband replied " yeah, but what about your 55 year old c..t ?". The woman said " sorry but you wasn't mentioned !!


Last edited by Screamingbuzzer on Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Tell us your Jokes

Post  Screamingbuzzer on Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:42 pm

A man & his wife were in a pub, the man starts bragging to his mates that "he has something that's long & hard when erect that makes his wife moan for hours " his wife butts in & says " yeah a f.....g ironing board!"


Last edited by Screamingbuzzer on Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Tell us your Jokes

Post  baitboss on Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:49 pm

An old man was looking for a bit of action with his old missus one evening so he reached into his bedside cabinet to get his stash of viagra but mistakenly swigged a bottle of tippex. He went to the doctor the next morning and explained what he had done. The doctor asked if he had any side affects to which the old man said 'well when I woke up this morning I had a massive correction'! jocolor
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Re: Tell us your Jokes

Post  baitboss on Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:49 pm

A man says "doctor I've got a sexual problem I just can't get it up any more" the doctor says "come back tomorrow and bring the wife".
The man turns up the following day with his wife, the doctor then asked the wife to take all her clothes off and lay on the table.
The doctor walked around the table a few times and then pulled the man to one side and said "your fine, Ive had a good look at your wife and she doesn't give me a hard on either.
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